ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
