and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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