i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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