How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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