Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
