Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
