you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
