Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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