there was a trapeze. enough said
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
