Kareoke will never be a sober sport
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you would pick up someone in the library
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
