he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The chlamydia really affected his face.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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