This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You're a waste of cheezeits
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
