It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The uberlube is also flammable
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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