uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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