She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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