I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize