Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
