We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
