Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
