So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
NoShamevember. You game?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
