you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
