you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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