So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
