return my video game
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
