She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
