I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize