Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
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