no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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