let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
