whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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