if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
