Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
that may or may not have been my penis.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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