I never want to see another naked old woman again.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
