There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
