I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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