Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
