This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
