Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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