I wanna passion pit in your ass
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
