i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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