I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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