I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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