Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize