Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
