do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
