You don't have asthma, your pregnant
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
