OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
