dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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