He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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