I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
