You just made me feel so damn special
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
