Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
