oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
