you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize