she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
