apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
