he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Houston, we have a squirter
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
