life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You're like the curious george of whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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