Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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