Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
That accounts for only three of the penises
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Randomize
