Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
