I think I died a long time ago.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
