just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
