If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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